Monday, February 6, 2012

A Messy Saturday.

My Saturday started out lovely: My husband let me sleep in a bit since he knew I wasn't feeling too well, then he made a large breakfast of eggs, grits and bacon, yum. After that it took a turn for the worse. 
I went to put the Little One down for her morning nap and she basically screamed at me the whole time. I came back out into the living room and there my husband is wearing the look that says,
"I have something I really want to do but I doubt you are going to be excited about it"
 I knew exactly what he wanted all by that look. 
In a not so nice tone I said something to the effect of "what? you are going to the basketball game?" In which he responded "nope, guess I'm not". 
I was angry, disappointed and jealous all at once. There was a "discussion" and he ended up going with my blessing.  He is a good man and he made up for the fact that he would be absent for a couple of hours by vacuuming, doing the dishes and making lunch. Let me tell you I did a lot of praying in that time he was gone so God could work on my selfish and jealous heart.
I know I was mainly upset because I cannot just get up and leave any time I want, it either takes a lot of planning and coordinating to leave the Little One with someone or I must take her along, which is not always ideal. I was also disappointed, I had envisioned our Saturday being lazy and we would both share the baby responsibilities. I never shared these expectations or made plans so he didn't know that was my vision of the day. 
This is what I wanted to do on Saturday

This marriage thing is difficult even more so now with a Little One involved. I am learning to ask for help because as much as I want to, I cannot do it all. We are both learning that we are incredibly selfish beings and that is just not going to work for anybody.
So we are keeping on, learning what works, what doesn't and doing our best to forgive and change things when we make a mess of things.

1 comment:

  1. Definitely know that exact feeling... especially the last few days. But in the end I look at Jakob and remind myself that he's more important than any of it and he's only this small for a short time in the scheme of things. It takes time and we'll all just keep learning! Can't wait to visit with you!